I think I need to go kill a wild animal with my bare hands. Or watch a football game with beer and chips, with other guys. Or go to a bar and use a cheesy pickup line on a semi-drunk woman. Manly things.
I say this because I was leaving my house this morning and noticed that the snail colony was back. I have bushes lining the walkway from my house to the street. In the bushes are lots of snails. In the morning, I walk out and have to avoid the 30-40 snails in my walkway. I didn’t see the snails all winter.
So today, I noticed the snails again. And I realized that I kind of missed the snails. I said to myself, “oh! the snails are back,” and there was a warm fuzzy feeling as I realized that I had missed the snails.
Followed immediately by a need to hit myself in the face and man up.
Now, because of some mean woman on the subway who felt it necessary to sing to herself (and everyone else on my side of the train), I have Alanis Morisette’s “Ironic” going through my head.
Manly things. Think manly things.