Let’s Get Political (For a Second)

Now, I normally don’t post politics. It happens, and long-time readers know I’m a stark-raving far-right lunatic fairly conservative. It’s highly likely I will never say anything nice about anything our President says or does over the next four, or heaven forbid eight, years.

Except for this.

I saw Arne Duncan on Meet the Press last week, and have been meaning to blog about it every since. Wow, was he awesome. I wanted to go out and change my vote in the last election to Obama, just so I could say that I helped put that man in charge of Education. The man might have single-handedly changed my opinion about whether we need a federal DOE (having 50 state ones already). I’d support the DOE just so he’d have a job.

I hope it’s not just talk. It takes a lot for a politician to overcome my natural cynicism of, well, politicians. But he did it. He was articulate, passionate, knowledgeable, and right.

I just figured out why I liked him so much: he sounded…conservative.

Go on iTunes and look at the Meet the Press from last week.

News This Week

I hope to have some news this week about the job situation. Wish me luck.

Defying Gravity

I like this show.

“We can rethink our choices a million times, but what we decide…we own.”

And set to great music, which I’ll include in this post in the next day or so.

And it stars Ron Livingston, who I will always love from Office Space, but who also did a great, really great, job in Band of Brothers (as did so many others.) For a great scene with him, check out the 10:10min mark in the last episode, Rubicon, “I’ve walked on Mars. I’m just throwing that out there between colleagues.” And “How am I ranked 12th?! I could have tolerated 2nd because Ted Shaw is a hell of an astronaut, but 12th?!” (Ted was standing right next to him).

It also stars Malik Yoba (who plays Ted Shaw), who for some reason I know even though I went through IMDB and I don’t watch anything he’s been in. But I know I’ve seen him before (and liked him).

It also has a nice ensemble cast, including that woman from that really bad vampire show that somehow lasted a season. (Blood Ties. Thank heaven for IMDB). Most of the others are pretty much unknowns.

The show is set in two time periods (so far). The basic plot is this: it’s an astronaut show in about 2050. There is a crew on a spaceship that is just starting a 6-year mission around the galaxy. One part of the show is set on the ship. The other part is set about 5 years earlier, when the current crew were trainee astronaut wannabees (less Livingston and Yoba, who were instructors) competing for a spot on the mission. Livingston and Yoba, in their characters Maddox Donner and Ted Shaw, had, five years before—this is now ten years before the mission—gone to Mars where, because of their officious ship commander and some bad “weather”, they stranded two people there to die, one of whom was Donner’s secret girlfriend/love-of-his-life. Donner is scarred by this. Five years later, in the five-years-ago-trainee period, he’s fallen for one of the trainees who he got pregnant even though he’s had a vasectomy. Let’s talk about that for a second, because it’s the other major plot device. There’s evidently some entity, “Beta,” who we haven’t seen, don’t know what it is, that communicates through images of a storm on Mars. Don’t ask, there’s nothing more I can tell you. Except it gave two crew members arterial plaque to disqualify them so Donner and Shaw could be on the mission, and it’s “changing the DNA” of not only the crew but also one of the Houston Flight Control people, who it also communicates with (it’s apparently fairly selective.) And it reversed Donner’s vasectomy. The only one who knows about Beta on the spaceship is Shaw, this mission’s commander, who can’t tell anyone. But a number of crew members are seeing things that aren’t there, and hearing things that aren’t there. Donner has seen the woman he left behind on Mars; Zoe (the trainee, now astronaut, who Donner now is falling for) is hearing a baby’s cry…she apparently aborted Donner’s child in the five-years-ago period.

Sound complicated enough?

Well, they kind of make it work. I have to say that I like it alot. It’s a very re-watchable show. I’ve seen several episodes more than once. They really replay well. But even as I watch it, I’m like, “there’s no way this show is going to get picked up.” But I really hope they do pick it up. What’s really extraordinary about this, and I find myself noticing it more and more, is how they use music within the show. They do it very, very well.

Oh, and one great thing? As of now, the first three episodes are free on iTunes.

So try out Defying Gravity.

How Are They Going To Not Get Cancelled With This Many People to Pay?

Get a Better Logo

Celebrity Traffic Whoring

Well, I posted the other day that my stats shot up this past weekend, and have actually kept up in the 50s for the last several days.  Mostly, if not entirely, for the Chuck review I did, with pictures of the stars (female and famous).  I think that I’ve gotten more hits from people searching for those stars (Yvonne Strahovski and Jordana Brewster) than for my posts. You’ve got to ask yourself, though, why now? Seriously, that post has been up for a little while now, maybe a week (Hello!? Went back and checked: it’s been up for almost three weeks!) But this weekend the traffic just pops. Jane says it’s my natural genius (however you spell it) coming through. I’d have to agree. Or it could be that I posted pictures of hot girls.

So here’s an interesting twist.  I’m going to post a picture of a famous actor and actress, once per week, and we’ll see who gets the most hits.  I’ll announce winners once a month.

Starting today:

Angelina Jolie and George Clooney.  Might as well start out with the biggies.

I look like him...except for that I don't

No one looks like her, except Megan Fox

Feel free to nominate actors and actresses I should shamelessly rank on the site. My dream is that this will become a thing, and actors and actresses around the world will vie for the top spot on the Hank LNU contest. And I’ll win the lottery, and fly to LA on a unicorn. /sarcasm and dry wit.

Can I just say, Wow, these two are just too damn good looking.

It’s wrong of me to use these pictures to generate traffic, isn’t it?

All in the guise of a contest.

Sad, really.

By the way, and apropos of nothing whatsoever, can I get your opinion, Internet, of tattoos?  Me?  I hate them.  I don’t care if you look like Angelina, tattoos are just yucky. Hey, don’t hate me ’cause I’m honest. And no, not even a little one on the ankle.

It’s convenient that religious Jews aren’t allowed to have them anyway. Of course, even before I was religious, I didn’t like them. Not even in my most rebellious phase did I ever even come close to wanting to get a tattoo. Not once, not even the drunkest I’ve ever been, in the middle of my most rebellious phase, did I even consider it for a moment.

Well…My Sister is a Ship. We Had a Complicated Childhood.

I love Firefly.  The line is at 34:08.

At Hulu.

The Best Invention, Ever

Hulu.com.

Seriously, free TV on demand.  And some decent movies (Last of the Mohicans is on there).  I’m going through that great show, Firefly.  I also went through the entire 13-episode run of Six Degrees.  There was a reason it was cancelled, but it had one of my favorite actors.  I’m going to try to find my favorite scene with him and get back to you.  Look for updates.

UPDATE:

Woo hoo!  I love the Internet era:

Great Photographs

I’m surfing the web with my son on my lap.  Going through Flickr like I go through blogs.  Very, very interesting.  Some are obviously pikers, like me.  But some are real photographers.

I remember feeling exactly like this when I used to read Runner’s World.  The runners there were real, well, runners.  I was a jogger.  They logged 40 miles a week.  I logged 6.  On a good week.  I felt like a dilettante.

Else Kramer is no dilettante.

Else Kramer’s photostream of her best shots.

UPDATE: By the way, I got that “pikers” term from Ben Affleck’s line in Boiler Room.  It’s at 2:51.

Surprise, Surprise

Well, I logged on today, the first time in a few days.  I’ve been sick, as my Twitter followers know.  Can I digress for a moment and say that I’m married, 10 years now, and I never had so many offers of sex when I was single as I do people “following” me on twitter, seeking sex.  It’s amazing.  Am I that virtually good looking?  Seriously, in the virtual world, am I a complete stud or something.  I know that I posted that picture of the guy with the abs that won’t stop, but I never seriously expected anyone to believe that was me.  And I’m getting these people following me on Twitter.  Though, they can’t spell.  They don’t want sex, they want sexx.  Or ssex.  Hmmm, do you imagine a swarm of purportedly hot women saying, “wow, Hank LNU sounds really sexy.  I think I’ll skip my remedial spelling class and go follow him on Twitter.”

Or maybe, just maybe, it’s spam.  I read recently that 90-95% of all email is spam.  The signal-to-noise ratio of information is horrible.  And the minute a new technology that people use gets developed, all of a sudden, people who want to exploit it figure out how.  It’s really annoying.

Or maybe I’m just that good looking and attractive.

OK, end of digression.

What I wanted to say was that when I logged in, for some reason yesterday was my second-best readership day ever.  I got something like 55 hits.  For me, that’s a huge jump.  Usually, it’s just Veaj coming by, maybe Rezzie, KJ, Jane, a couple others.  Which is fine by me.  Yesterday (a Saturday, remember), 55 people decided to come by and say hi.  And not all from the same place.  I could understand if I got an Instalanche.  Once, a major-league blogger linked to me.  This was before Hank, before BR, even.  And yowza, hundreds of hits.  But this was just 55 random people coming by.  Or Veaj coming by 55 separate times.  Which wouldn’t be above her (anyone remember the last time?  There’s a Toberlone in it if anyone does…except you, Veaj.)

So why the sudden popularity?  Or is the ’sphere just recognizing my natural genius?

Feeling Like Crap

Last night I had 102 degree fever. I was chilled for a couple of hours, and then sweaty and hot for a couple of hours. No appetite, ravenous appetite. I can handle being sick, I don’t like not being the same kind of sick. Just one, please. I can handle the chills, but this variable symptom thing sucks.

This is Me, minus the bunny slippers

Please Help Me…Or Shoot Me

I like another Taylor Swift song. “You Belong With Me.”

I can’t help it. Catchy tune. Tells a story, albeit a saccharine sweet high-school crush nerdy girl gets studly guy story. See, e.g., that movie with Freddie Prinze and…well, just any Freddie Prinze movie.

But I can’t help it.

There’s something wrong with me. Please help!

Here’s what I’m talking about.

In Other News: Hell Freezes Over

Mrs. LNU now has a blog!

I shit you not.  She told me last night that she wanted me to set her up with a blog!  Which I did, on blogger.  Which, for those of you who’ve been reading me long enough, know just how funny and ironic that is.

My life just keeps on getting weirder.

Two fer Friday

I know, I know. I should have posted this on Tuesday. I know. But I didn’t discover these two blogs until today, so today is when you get them. Very different. Very, very different. But both entertaining.

First, let’s start with a commenter. Kate. Her blog, Recommended Daily Dose, is a trip. Let’s start with the toilet paper graphic, which I don’t know whether it’s permanent or just happens to be on the top now. But for those of you who’ve been with me for a while, you’ll know I originally started as a blogger named Bathroom Reading. So as soon as I looked at Kate’s blog, I started feeling nostalgic.

So, because I’m feeling a little nostalgic, here’s a gratuitous blast from the past. A post I wrote a long time ago.  Another blast?  Veaj used to have a series on her blog, which I commented on way back when, and just came across it: The moment was NOTICED.  I loved that.

Anyway, back to our program.

The second blog is completely different.  I can’t quite get a handle on it.  It’s written, apparently, by a fashion model.  Which I frankly have a hard time believing; it never struck me that fashion models would have the time or inclination to blog.  Anyway, it’s a mixture of funny stories, drink recipes, food recipes, family stuff, and even one cartoon reprinting.  Each post seems to start with a picture, sans face, of a model, which I’m guessing is either our author or someone she wants us to think is her.

And she titled her blog Cocaine Princess.  Which I think means her blog will make for interesting reading.

On the other hand, what a great idea!  In fact, I’m going to start each of my posts from now on with this picture.

Do you think anyone will believe it’s me?

This is me! And I have a bridge to sell you...connects Manhattan to Brooklyn!

Yeah, I didn’t think so either.

But these two blogs are each worth reading.

Oh, and Kate even commented on my last post. Very polite of her. You might remember that I’m all about blogiquette (blog etiquette).

How Do You Say “F&@k You” to a Terrorist?

How Do You Say "F&@k You" to a Terrorist?

Originally uploaded by Hank LNU

This is how.

I’m a Little Pissed

Dear Internet,

WtF? All this time and you never told me about Family Guy? It’s been on for, like, 8 seasons! You couldn’t have said something? “Hank, there’s this really funny show you need to watch.” “Hank, seriously, dude, you have to see this.”

Something!?

But noooooooooo, you just sat there feeling soooooo superior. (start childish sing-song-like tune) “I know something Hank doesn’t know.” (/childish sing-song tune)

Seriously, the first episode made me cry I was laughing so hard. Somewhere between the dog hitting the father on the nose, the child doing the Mwa-ha-ha, or the daughter’s sagging lips, I figured out that this was one of the funniest shows I’ve ever seen.

So really, thanks for nothin’ Internet.

Still Love You,

Hank

Dammit, People…Comment!

I’m posting! Why aren’t you commenting! You’re not keeping up your end of the bargain.

Frightened Rabbit

Poor Little Rabbit

So I did the whole buy-one-song-on-iTunes-then-buy-lots-more-by-the-same-band thing I seem to do every so often. This time, it was Frightened Rabbit (see my Chuck post below).

One of the songs is called “The Twist.” It’s awesome! And I love the lyrics. So sad and dejected—which you all know suits my mood right now. But kind of funny in a loser-ish way:

You twist and whisper the wrong name
I don’t care nor do my ears
Twist yourself around me
I need company I need human heat
I need human heat

Lets pretend I’m attractive and then
You won’t mind, you can twist for a while
It’s the night, I can be who you like
And I’ll quietly leave before it gets light

To which I reply, “Dude…man up!”

I also love the lyrics to “Keep Yourself Warm,” which is the song I talk about below, from the Chuck episode. The line I really love there is “It’s takes more than f$#%*ing someone you don’t know to keep warm.” Which is true, but still pretty graphic. The whole song is graphic, by the way. But really, really good. Of course, what can you expect from a song which also has the lyrics: “If we have a hormone race, I’m bound to finish first.”

Can you just imagine a hormone race? I’m picturing Natalie Wood holding the scarf as two people in their hot rods gun their engines.

Like this:

Not Family Friendly, But It Fits, Right?

Don’t Use the Last Line

You Had Me Until the Last Line

Reading an article on Ruth Madoff being sued, I saw this paragraph from the Compliant:

The United States government agreed not to contest Mrs. Madoff’s claim to $2.5 million and to make a payment to her in that amount following forfeiture of the Madoffs’ assets.  The forfeiture Stipulation and Order…expressly provides that the $2.5 million payment to Mrs. Madoff “does not in any way preclude…Irving H. Picard, Esq. as trustee for the liquidation of the business of defendant Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC…from seeking to recover the Funds from Ruth Madoff.”  While Madoff’s crimes have left many investors impoverished and some charities decimated, Mrs. Madoff remains a person of substantial means.  The inequity between Mrs. Madoff’s continuing financial advantages and the economic distress of Madoff’s customers compels the Trustee to bring this action.

See, I’m not sure exactly where I stand on Mrs. Madoff: I haven’t really given it all that much thought, as I don’t think it’s worth the mindshare.  But now that I have given it a little thought…

I’m unsure what the legal basis is for taking Ruth Madoff’s couple of million dollars when the US government has declined to bring criminal charges citing a lack of knowledge of the fraud on her part.  And for the DOJ to make that admission is pretty staggering.  Can you even imagine how much pressure there was to find something, anything, to hang a criminal charge on her.  That they failed really says something to me about her lack of knowledge. 

Now, the knowledge requirement for a civil case is lower than that of a criminal case.  Criminal authorities have to prove knowledge “beyond a reasonable doubt,” which is a pretty high standard.  Civil cases must be proven by a “preponderance of the evidence.”  This means 51%.  So I can understand a civil litigator, like the trustee of Madoff’s firm in receivership, saying, “well, I appreciate why the criminal authorities took a pass, but I think I can prove knowledge to a preponderance, so I’m going to bring a case.”

But that’s not what’s being said here.  It’s “she’s rich, her husband’s victims aren’t, so I’m going to redistribute that income to make things fairer.

I have a big problem with that. 

Being rich is not an immoral state of being.  When the Receiver says that she received funds she wasn’t entitled to, I say, “so what?”  Her husband cheated people and bought her things with the stolen money.  So, get the money from him, or his companies.  But the fact that the government agreed that this $2.5 million was hers, and now the Receiver is saying that she shouldn’t have it just because her husband’s victims are poor, that’s just wrong.  One has nothing to do with the other.  If they can prove that the funds are ill-gotten gains, take it.  If they can prove that she knew of her husband’s fraud, take it.  But in the absence of those two things, income redistribution does not support a seizure action.  That’s called socialism, and we’re not there.  At least not yet.

Child Abuse

This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve seen this month:

A judge ordered the release of a younger detainee. He threw a grenade at troops, injuring two American soldiers.

[The Judge] said any prosecution would face difficulties, including what she said was a possible denial of Mr. Jawad’s right to a speedy trial and evidence that his treatment at Guantánamo was harsher than any juvenile defendant would face in the United States.

Well, duh! This isn’t a “juvenile defendant,” this is evidence of child abuse by our enemy, sending a 14-year-old out on a mission to kill US troops.

The Wisdom of John Stossel

This is from a column published today in TownHall. A great site in general.

This quote should be a watchword for today. Something that the taxpaying public puts on their refrigerator and looks at every day.

Where there’s “humanitarian” government intervention, there are politically connected special interests reaping the benefits.

Yummy Breakfast

Yummy Breakfast

Originally uploaded by Hank LNU

Ahhhh. A really good breakfast: cherries and yogurt. Happy now.

Valancy Jane

She Cracks Me Up

This is how I think of Veaj. This is likely how I’ll always think of Veaj, even when we’re 80.

Of course, when Veaj is 80, she’ll probably still be jumping on top of desks. But if you want someone who can put a smile on your face, she’s the one.

Can you tell I’m a fan?

One thing that amazes me. How much she updates all the social media. MySpace, Facebook, Flickr, and I’m sure Twitter and lots of other ones I don’t even know about. Me, I’m lucky if I can post on this blog once or twice a week. She also responds to comments almost immediately on any of those. It’s amazing.

And she puts herself out there. I’m LNU because I like my anonymity. She’s living life out loud, that’s for sure. And she doesn’t hide her downs, or tone down her ups. That’s admirable, I think.

Two YouTube Videos You Must Watch

Right when I found out that I was losing my job, someone forwarded Mrs. LNU a link to a video of Jimmy Fallon doing a spoof of Dave Matthews. It was an “advertisement,” one of the funny ones that SNL does, for a new GPS system using Dave Matthews music to tell you where to go.

I honestly didn’t think that anything could put a smile on my face at that point, but this did.

In 2.5 Miles You Should Make a Riiii-iiii-ight, Well Bay-Bay!

For the second video:

I’ve Got 16 Tons of Questions for the Teacher

HBO used to have this series of short films called “Short Takes.” One of those movies was about a guitar player who gets brought in to fill in for someone…just for sessions. It’s called “Session Man.” The guy comes in (James Remar, I think his name is) and plays one song. And gets asked to join the band, the Raging Kings. I don’t know why I remember it from, like, 1991, but I do. The satisfaction when he gets asked to join. The quiet dejection when the crisis hits. The whole movie is about 20 minutes long. But it was well-acted, and interesting.

Part 2 video:

Part 3 video:

It’s all good.

The song, though, has some…interesting…lyrics. Some I like, some are just silly.

I’ve been working in a coal mine
on top of the world
I’ve been watching the horizon
I’ve been watching all the girls
‘Cause I’m a girl…watcher

I’ve been laughing on the inside
Livin’ with the pain
I’ve been working with the system
I’ve been standing in the rain
‘Cause I’m a born…swimmer

I’ve got 16 tons of questions for the teacher
I’ve got 16 tons of monkeys on my back
I’ve got 16 tons of doubt about the future
Its a wonder that I’ve managed to survive the silent wreckage of my past

You take a little baby fill him full of fear sell him ammunition, cigarettes, and beer
And he’s your new neighbor

He’s got 16 tons of questions for the teacher
He’s got 16 tons of monkeys on his back
He’s got 16 tons of doubt about the future
It’s a wonder that I’ve managed to survive the silent wreckage of my past.

Of my past
Of my past
Of my past

Early Sunday Morning

It’s about 6am Sunday morning. I’ve been up for almost an hour. Three of my four kids are sleeping in the bed with us. It’s a little crowded. Not that I’m complaining, not really. It’s cute, how much they love to cuddle with me and Mrs. LNU. And secretly (not-so-secretly, really…I’ve told Mrs. LNU, and you, come to think of it) I love it. For my kids, I’m still the person who can make the bad dreams go away.

But it also means that I don’t sleep so well, and today—like a lot of days recently—I have stuff on my mind. Mainly, of course, the job situation. It’s about 75 days until I’m unemployed. I’ve had one interview, with another two scheduled, and one more on the horizon. Plus two jobs that I have a shot at, but haven’t heard back even on the interview yet. So I’ve got irons in the fire. And I really hope one will drop.

The good news is that I am coming home earlier than ever, and in time to put the kids to bed. So they’re seeing me around more, which is always good.

You hear a lot about “quality” time. And spending concentrated amounts of time with your kids is important, making each of them feel special.

But no parent really thinks “quality” time is enough. What’s really important is quantity time. Just being around. There really is no substitute for it. It’s amazing how important it is that the kids see me kiss their mother, and hold her hand, and just putter around the house. That’s just incredibly important, because it’s a signal to them that their world is where it should be. That everything is in its place. When I’m not around, they don’t get that.

Anyway, for any other insomniacs out there: good morning.

22 Years

22 Years

Originally uploaded by Hank LNU

This window was, 22 years ago, my freshman year dorm room window.

I recently showed it to my four kids.

Where the hell did the time go?! I was in that dorm three weeks ago.
Maybe a month. Two at the most. Then I blinked and was married with
four kids.

The oldest of which is now 8. Something else I’m not ready for.

Backing Up…Very Carefully

Backing Up…Very Carefully

Originally uploaded by Hank LNU

Slowly, slowly. That car, a Bentley in case you can’t tell, is worth
north of $100,000. Probably north of $150,000. (Anyone know for
certain? I’m not in the mood to google it.) [Ed. note: About $200,000. I looked it up].

A scratch would be *really* expensive. And while you can’t get blood
from a stone, it would be a bit embarrassing, as it’s my synagogue’s
parking lot.