I’m Such A Hypocrite

Seriously, I’ve bought Kings every time it’s come on despite my promising not watch it any more; it’s turning into the show that I love to hate. For every really good scene, there’s a really ridiculous scene. Reminds me of my life…but that’s an entirely different post.

What Would Brian Boytano Do?

Oh. My. G-d.

I just youtubed the first-ever pilot of South Park. It’s late, and I almost woke up Mrs. LNU and little boy LNU with me holding back my laughter.

Jesus versus Santa.

Enjoy.

Daybreak

The Last Supper on Galactica

So I think—and this is just my personal opinion—that the most perfect TV series of all time is The Wire.  Just below that, Hill Street Blues, St. Elsewhere, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (hey, if you haven’t watched it, don’t say anything; if you have watched it, you wouldn’t argue).

Somewhere in there is Battlestar Galactica.  It just ended its four season run with a three-part series ender.  The thing about series that end, rather than get cancelled, is that they can bring things to a close.  They did it magnificently here.  Resolution of the main plot lines in a way that makes sense.  Characters fulfilled.

If you don’t know the show, what follows next will not make sense.  And one thing about being late to the party when it comes to reviewing shows I watch off of iTunes means that spoilers don’t really matter.  So…

Starbuck used the notes drawn by Hera to jump to our Earth.  The whole time, when they were talking about Earth, they were talking about another planet that underwent nuclear holocaust and was still radioactive 2,000 years later.  They spent 3 1/2 seasons searching for Earth, then they found it and couldn’t use it.  Wow.  And that wasn’t even the series finale.

So they come to our Earth, and they call it “Earth” after their Earth.  And it’s 150,000 years ago.  And Hera is the “mitochondrial eve.” And Starbuck was some kind of angel. And President Roslyn died. And even Gaius reached some sort of maturity.

Even Lee realized his joys and was happy, which for him has been an issue the entire four seasons.

And the cylons joined with the remaining 38,000 people. And they set the Centurions free, which they hoped would break the “cycle of violence” which was one of the show’s motifs, how the same things had been happening over and over throughout the past 2,000 years. Even though I have a natural distaste for that phrase, I was okay with it here. The remaining humans disdain building cities and instead decide to set out with “just a few provisions and the clothes on their backs.” “Never underestimate the human desire for a clean slate.”

Overall: A+ for the episodes, and A+ for the series. Well worth the whole thing.

For those of you with no idea what I’m talking about, the series started with a surprise cylon attack on Caprica, the human home world, and all other human home planets, with the remaining 38,000 humans banding together to escape the cylons and find Earth. Over four seasons, they fought the cylons, fought each other, found peace with the cylons, and peace with each other. A really amazing series.

Uncommon Indeed

In case you don’t know, on most issues I’m just to the right of the Kaiser.  Meaning, I’m very conservative.

There’s a resource on the National Review that’s simply amazing, it’s called Uncommon Knowledge.  It’s videos of some really interesting people, Justice Scalia and John Bolton were the latest, talking about issues of the day.  If you want to hear opinions straight from the horse’s mouth, and not filtered through a liberal media, go listen to the horse.

Apple Wins

Showing off the newest iPhone software

I’m just stunned at how amazing the newest iPhone software is.  I’ve spent the last hour watching the show that Apple put on the other day on it.  It’s really incredible.  Cut and paste.  Landscape viewing—and keyboard—in mail and notes.  Ability to share applications over bluetooth, with automatic device discovery, of course.

The thing about Apple is…it just works.

Have I mentioned that I’m a Mac guy?

Kings: Don’t Watch the Second Half

The King and the Private...er...Captain

Wow, that was bad.

Let me explain. I watch TV on my iPhone. I download shows and watch them a few days late. I’m going to start a new series of TV episode reviews for the shows I watch.

I just finished watching the pilot episode of Kings. Wow. Very brief setup: we’re in a small, made-up country with a stupid flag. The main characters are the king, his wife, activist daughter, playboy son, and some random staff and nobles/congressmen. Then there’s the other main character, a private in the army who is a farm boy down to the blond hair. He’s fighting with his platoon, who all like and respect him.

The first half of the show, not so bad. It starts off by rapidly introducing the main characters in a way that doesn’t really distinguish itself, but gets the job done. I lost my suspension of disbelief a little bit at about the 15-minute mark when the King’s son, captured during a border skermish, was held 50 feet from the front line in a sparsely guarded tent, but still, it wasn’t that bad. And the scene of the rescue was very well done. I have to admit, I was really enjoying myself. After the rescue, the hero, David, gets brought back to the capital city, Shiloh, for a banquet in his honor.

He meets the beautiful princess while playing a Liszt tune on the piano (showing off our hero’s renaissance qualities). He also interacts with the country’s religious leader at the banquet, who gives us one of the episode’s better lines, “you’re at a party in your name, drinking a scotch that G-d himself only brings out of the cabinet but once a year….” I liked that.

Anyway, the King asks him what he wants for a reward, saying “up to half my kingdom, as the saying goes. Well…speak up or you’ll end up with a car you can’t afford the insurance on.” Then the crowd parts, showing us the Princess, and the king mutters, “Ahhh. Half my kingdom it is.” David trades his reward in for a dance with the Princess. Nice scene, actually. Even though I had my second suspension of disbelief when David is able to dance without a misstep after having said he doesn’t know how. ONE, twothree; ONE, twothree. He doesn’t even move his lips.

David is promoted to Captain and given the role of press liaison. Really part of the King’s desire to distract his people with a hero because…well, I’m not sure yet. So David gets up in front of the press and curses, and then has a phone call with his buddies, who fall under attack while on the video conference.

Now is when it all starts to unravel. Right about the 40-minute mark.

The King has one of his ministers assassinated. The playboy prince turns out to be a homosexual, borderline pedophile, we’re not sure yet. The King’s brother-in-law, the richest man in the kingdom, blackmails him into restarting the war (after a truce) because the brother-in-law’s company wants to make more money…the truce came before they could recoup their investment in weapons. I’m losing interest here, but it’s redeemable…my television interests are not, shall we say, highbrow.

Then it just gets worse. Our hero, after just a day before being barely able to speak in the King’s presence, now forcefully argues with the King when told to announce the new offensive. Argues with the King, “You can’t do that, the people want peace.” In public. In front of the country’s Chairman of the Joint Chiefs character. But it goes downhill from there, if you can believe it.

David then goes to the front, to make the announcement supposedly. While there, his brother dies from wounds sustained at some undetermined point in the past. David takes a towel that, I don’t know, his brother was lying on, or something, and is all bloody. David goes to the battle line and, I’m not shitting you, yells out a speech to the opposing side about wanting to know more about them, that they’re not just the enemy, that they’re people too, and holding the towel yells about them just wanting more blood, and to take his. And, no I’m not shitting you, an enemy three-star general drives up and talks to David…though we don’t hear what they say.

Next thing you know, peace treaty.

I’m laughing out loud at this point.

The brother-in-law then schemes with the playboy son about possibly deposing the King. Unspoken is the potential for regicide.

First half: B+
Second half: F-

Overall: won’t even get a second episode purchase out of me. Usually, I’ll buy two episodes of anything, because you need more than the pilot to tell. But unless this becomes the smash hit of the season, I’m skipping the rest.