Some People Should Simply Not Wear Some Outfits

I remember when I was doing the whole bar scene thing.  I was 22 or so.  There were people in the bar, some older, and a friend said, “there’s nothing sadder than a person at 40 acting like they’re 20 because at 20 they acted like they were 40.”  It’s a little strange now, looking the other side of that equation in the face, and looking back on that conversation, having just come from a bar.

Now, the bar wasn’t filled with 20-year-olds, but I keep thinking, “I’m getting a little old for this shit.”   In this case, we were celebrating—if that’s the right word—some colleagues leaving the company.  I was senior there, so the whole thing went on my corporate card.  I had two Sam Adams, and here I am, back at work.  Although I’m leaving soon.

And it reminds me of my friends from college.  I’m not really friends with them anymore.  Because most of them are still doing the same drunken-weekends thing they were doing literally 20 years ago.  That’s frankly just a little sad.  And I just don’t want to be part of that anymore.  I have a wife and four kids.  That part of my life is over—and good riddance.  I did the whole drunken weekend thing, more times than I care to admit.  One summer, my friends almost staged an intervention: I was going out three nights a week, getting drunk, picking up random women and bringing them home.  After a while, people got worried.  But now, I have absolutely no feeling of “I wish…”  Except I never saw a Grateful Dead concert, and I really wish I had.

Sorry for the rambling, but remember, I’ve just come from communing with Sam, and I’m tired.  Because remember, I have four kids.  Three of whom can’t seem to sleep unless they’re cuddled up to me.  I’m not complaining, mind you, but the consequence of that, no matter how much I love the cause, is still no sleep for me.

Good night.

It’s the Little Things

You know what really annoys me?  When I hold the door open for someone and when they walk through, they push it open just a little bit more.  Now, it’s one thing if it’s a heavy door, and I’m only holding it open a smidge.  But when I’m holding it all the way open, people still have this uncontrollable urge to open it just a bit more.

Gee, competitive much?

That’s it.  I had thought about writing more, but I just got back from another trip and I’m ready to hit the sack.  I counted it up the other day: in the last 5 weeks, I’ve been in the office for four days.

Snow and Sickness

My kids have off from school today because of the snow.  They’d love to go out with me to build a snowman.  But I’m home myself, sick as a dog.  I’ve got this really bad cough that I feel in the center of my chest.  I’m alternating fever and chills.  I have a headache.  But other than that, I’m fine.

Being sick sucks.

Back at my Desk

I’ve been away from the office for a month.  Literally.  I was on a business trip for two weeks, then I took a week off, then I went on another business trip for a week.  Then Monday was a federal holiday.  So it’s been a month.  It seems strange spending the whole day on calls and in meetings, and trying to get actual work done in between.

I think I want to take another couple of weeks off.  Instead, I’m going to take a day and spend it with my wife on her birthday.  We’re going to get a hotel room, farm out or have relatives babysit the kids, and take a show, dinner, and a night in a swanky hotel.  Should be fun.

Anyway, I’m going to leave now.

But before I do, can I just say that I’ve been watching Prison Break, and it’s fantastic?  ‘Cause it is.  And so is the iPhone I’ve been watching it on, but you already know of my undying love for my iPhone.  I’ve gone through the first two seasons, and I’m now on season 3.  They’re really, really good at ending every episode with a cliffhanger.  And boy did they just have a doozy.  I’m at the point where Link finds out what’s in the box.  What’s in the box!  Oh my!  I knew that it was going to be bad, but I didn’t realize it’d be that bad.  The death of a major character.  In the middle of the season.  Wow.  And so gruesome.  It was reminiscent of Se7en.  Remember that movie?  With Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman and Kevin Spacey?  Sick movie, but that scene at the end, with Brad asking Morgan in a tortured voice, “What’s in the box?  What’s in the box!?”

Same thing was in the box, boys and girls.  RIP.

A Golden Tree

A Golden Tree

Originally uploaded by Hank LNU

Sun shining on a tree in my backyard. My daughter thought the tree was
gold. How cute is that?

Because I’m Stupid

That’s the answer: because I’m stupid.  The question is: why am I up, and on the computer, at 1am?

I should be asleep.  I know that.  I should have been asleep three hours ago.  But I’m not.  I’m up.  First, I watched like, four episodes of Prison Break, Season 1 on my iPhone.  We’ll get into how much I like that show in a minute.  But then I sat down to download the next few shows to my iPhone.  And we’ll get into how much I love my iPhone in a minute, too.  So then I started surfing blogs.  I find myself in neat little blog circles: my latest is Kristabella, Hotfessional, Amber, Nothing But Bonfires, SuperBlondGirl, and a couple others.  But I love those five.  And Veaj and ‘Rezzie.  Always those two.  And she of the awesome blog name.  I miss a few, too.  Like A*, and Dan, and Hof.  And MooCow.  For those of you who knew MooCow, you were truly blessed.  Luke wrote a great couple of blogs: no one could bottle up the crazy like him.

Anyway, back to my being stupid.  I sometimes see these patterns in my life.  I don’t know why I’m unhappy right now.  But I know myself well enough to know that staying up like this, making myself miserable tomorrow, is a sure sign that I’m upset about something.  I don’t know what, though, and that makes it difficult to solve the problem.  And I’m a guy, we solve problems.  I don’t think it’s my wife: we’re actually doing very well right now.  I’m really not sure.  I would normally say that it’s got to be the wife.  Maybe work.  I just got my bonus numbers and—while they’re not what I had hoped for—they’re certainly respectable.  And better than last year.  And within 15% of what I had hoped for.  So I can’t really complain.  But I wanted a little more recognition, maybe.  I don’t know.

What I’m sure of is that it’s now 1:12 am, and I’m still up.   And at the keyboard, typing.  I know that I carry around a lot of stress: I’m responsible for providing for my family, a wife and four wonderful children who, if I do my job right, won’t want for anything.  Well, anything important.   So I carry that around with me.  And my wife doesn’t work.  We made that decision together, and I’m proud that we can do it, but it really puts all that pressure on me.  And add to that the fact that neither my wife nor I are particularly financially responsible.  We’re both the spend-what-you-have types.  Normally, you’d find one partner of the couple who is the financially responsible one.  But with both of us, we’re lucky any bills get paid on time.

One of my best traits is that I have my head screwed on straight.  So I know that all these things are fake complaints.  Thank G-d, I have it really good: health, children, a wife that loves me.

What I don’t have right now is sleep.  And I’ve always been bad at that.  I have a pretty severe case of sleep apnea.  Which is no fun at all.  I sleep with a mask over my face so I don’t suffocate when I sleep.  On the other hand, I wouldn’t sleep anyway because my wonderful kids love to cuddle up to their Daddy.  Which means I sleep with one child on one shoulder, another on the other, and a third across my chest.  Which I’ve said before, and meant, that I wouldn’t change if I could.

But none of that is why I’m not asleep right now.  I sometimes feel like if I go to sleep, I’ll be missing something.  Or maybe I’m just not excited about starting tomorrow.  Which isn’t a great way to be.  Normally, I’m always excited about tomorrow.  But I guess not tonight.  Tonight I’m stuck in tonight.  And it’s not like tonight has been that great.  Just TV.  Of course, then I watched Prison Break.  I really like that show; at least, I like the first half of the first season.  Interesting premise.  Although, I’m not sure how they did a second and third season.  After all, the whole thing is about how meticulously planned this break-out is.  What, he then meticulously plans another prison break?  Somewhere else?  I think not.

1:25am.  Time to maybe get into bed.  After all, my first call tomorrow—while on vacation, mind you—is at 7am.  Yeah, I’m going to be miserable.

Dammit, what am I unhappy about?  If I could figure it out, and solve it, then maybe I’d be more responsible.

3 Chicks and their Pics

OK, how much do I love the ’sphere.

Three women friends living all over the place all post one picture a day. So we get three pics a day from our three chicks.

Now, why didn’t I think of that?

UPDATE, three minutes later: Of course, now that I really look at that site, I see they haven’t posted any pictures for almost a year.  So it’s a neat concept that they don’t actually act on anymore.  Sometimes I’m a little too quick with the “Link this” button, don’t you think?

The Joys of Home

Ah…home.

Today I woke up at 4:30am: one child on my left shoulder, one child on my right shoulder, one child lying across my chest.  I literally couldn’t move, pinned to the bed.

Life is back to normal, and that’s a very good thing indeed.  I missed home very much.

And I’m sure that the only reason my fourth child wasn’t in the room—and maybe lying across my legs—is that we bought one of those crib tent things that keep him from escaping the crib.  He recently learned how to climb out of the crib; and right after that, he learned an important lesson about gravity.  Thus, the crib tent.

Next week?  I took off: the wife and I need some time together.  This trip was harder on us than most, although I don’t know why.

What I do know is…it’s good to be home.