At It Again

Ah, New Year’s Eve day.  Which means I have absolutely nothing to do in the office, which means only good things for you, my readers reader.  Because let’s face it, this is not a highly trafficked site.  But maybe one day.

Anyway, I’ve been out there dredging up the bushes for you.  It’s not rocket science, by the way.  I read a blog and if I like it, I read some comments.  I find someone who comments often, and if the comments are witty, I open the page of the commenter.  And I keep open those chains.  Then I read a post or two (everyone has their off days) and see if I like it.

If someone can hook me in a post or two, I’ll refer them to you.

So here’s Hotfessional.  Funny.  And I got to her through Kristabella.  K posted that she got to meet some other Chicago bloggers, of which Hotfessional is one.  I appreciate how fun that it, having had the honor and pleasure of meeting some bloggers of my own.  Which really pissed off Mrs. LNU, but that’s another story.

And you have to admire a blogger with her own hosting.  No wordpress or blogger for her.

Oh, Yeah, I Find Good Blogs

They’re out there.  Everywhere.  Good blogs.  Really, really good blogs.

Some of you already know these, but some might not.

So just in case, here’s Kristabella, she of the wonderful tag line: “Tales of a Chicago Singleton Who Keeps the Wineries in Business.”  She is one of the few people I’ve encountered who have been well and truly dooced.  She has some great stories to tell.

Go read them.

Six Word Stories

I just finished reading a great post over at Nothing But Bonfires.

But what I loved about the post the most wasn’t the subject area (although it was a truly great post).  It was her quotation of a six-word story.  Allegedly some invention of Ernest Hemingway, or something.

Anyway, you have to write a story in six words.

I immediately thought of two excellent things to do with this.  First, write six-word stories for celebrities and make you guess who’s who.  The other was to stage one of those old-fashioned writing contests like I used to.  Way back when.

But first, my own six words: Happy family life.  Still, he blogs.

And a celebrity:

Marries younger woman.  Rumor: a beard.

A Toblerone for the first one to get it right.

Being a Geek

Yes, I was am a geek.  I used to get to high school early every morning, to play chess.   I was the photo editor (read photographer) for the school newspaper and the yearbook.  One of my best friends was the A/V guy.  I think I’ve got serious geek cred.

So Melina having a Wii doesn’t even rate, does it?

I was in a youth group, where I was a “cool guy.”  So I had two lives: my school persona (geek, shy, liked being behind a camera rather than in front of one, no girlfriend ['til senior year], no social skills) and my youth group persona (cool kid, knew everyone, outgoing, etc).

When I went off to college, I made a conscious decision that I was going to be the youth group person and not the high school person.  It helped that absolutely no one from my high school went with me to college.  I would say that I remade myself in Boston, but truth be told, I was already that person.  I just chose to not be that other person.  I still liked chess, I still took pictures, it was just a willingness to speak to people, strangers.  To start conversations.  To put myself out there.

I remember one summer at my youth group convention I made a decision that by the end of the week, I was going to meet everyone there.  And I did.  I introduced myself to about 100 people over the course of the week, in addition to talking to the people I already knew.  I didn’t tell anyone I was doing it.  I just decided that I was going to be friendly.  To everyone.

And I had a great group of friends in college.  A diverse group.  Same with law school.  I was friends with the conservative group, the earthy-crunchy types.  Everyone.

I like being that person.

Hat Trick

I’ve got a hat trick of new blogs for you.  All pretty cool in their own special way.  I got from one to the other, to the third.  I love blog-finding strings.

First up is SuperBlondGirl.   She’s having a bit of a hard time right now, so go wish her well.  And she’s a friend of a friend.  Melina (she of the amazing site name) likes her, so who am I to argue?  One day, when she’s in a better place, I’m going to introduce her to the grammatical tool called a paragraph.  Her post from the 20th (the top one when I got to her page) makes me think she’s forgotten about it.  Of course, given the subject matter, you and I should probably forgive her lack of return button.

Next up is Georgia at The State That I Am In.  An LA girl who is secure enough to actually post pictures of her parents on her site.  And she’s a fun writer, besides.  Who knows, maybe she’ll be your friend (look at the URL).  Ah, if only she’d increase her font size (and a Toblerone for anyone who’s been reading me—in any of my various incarnations—long enough to remember my rant on blog font sizes…it goes back to my first blog on blogger).

And remember my worry about introducing you to blogs that you already read because they’re more famous than I’ll ever be?  Well, here I go back into that particular lion’s den: go read Nothing But Bonfires.  You have to admire a woman who picks her blog name from Shakespeare.  I got mine from a police report.  She wins.  Of course, she’s a professional writer in her real life, so you’d really have to expect quality writing, you know?  Almost the blog equivalent of a wringer, wouldn’t you say?

Emoticons

Know thy enemy.

Common Emoticons

or =] or  or =) or :^) or	Smile or happy
:-L or =L	Drool or Zombie. Being tired.
,’:Y	An inquisitive duck
or =( or D: or D=	Frown or Sad
xP or XP	Straining, disgust, bad joke, dead, dead from laughing, silliness
xD or XD	Laughing hard (often taken as Cartman from the television show South Park)
X8	laughing hard while covering mouth with hands
:S or :s or =S or =s	confused
:Þ or :þ or =b or =Þ	happy, dropped jaw, raspberry
:/ or :\ or =/ or =\	Skepticism, annoyance, uneasiness, or a slight frown; dissatisfaction, lack of favourable opinion on the subject, undecided
:T or  or =|	Indecision, deadpan, a solemn look, a lack of response, or indifference; shock - also often used with a contrasting statement to convey biting sarcasm (e.g. “That was hilarious. :-|”)
or ;]	Wink
BD or 8D	Laughing while wearing cool glasses, comedian
8:)]	Crazy Frog
or =D	Wide grin, happy smile
(: <message here>	grinning from ear to ear; speaking a message to someone else.
or :p or =P or =p or :-|tongue	tongue sticking out, or a Blowing a raspberry; used to convey a joke, light-hearted sarcasm, inappropriateness, relief, mild resignation, humorous resignation
S-) or s-) or [22]	rolling eyes
(:3=	I Am the Walrus
B)	Wearing cool glasses (often sunglasses). Indicates pride in something
8|	Wearing nerdy glasses. Indicates dislike/”uncoolness” in something
:O or =O	Surprise, shock
:$ or =$	Put your money where your mouth is
=X or :X	sealed lips; used to convey “I shouldn’t have said that” or sometimes shocked silence; can be taken to mean “no comment”
:* or ;*	kissing
:** or ;**	Returning a kiss
:’( or :_( or :*( or :…( or ;_; or ;O; or =,[ or :,[	Shedding a tear
>:O	Angry/Yelling
> or >:[	Angry/Grumpy
>:E	Anger or hatred, baring teeth
> or >:]	Evil smile
0 or O:]	Halo over the head, an angel, innocence
D:	Dismay or distressed (read right to left) (Sometimes referred to as “oh no”)
:3	A kitten face - being cute.
83	a kitten face with large eyes for extra cuteness
x3	Combination of xD and :3, sometimes used with “Yay!” when intending to be cute
=3	A variation of :3, with long, vertical eyes instead
>:3	A mischief look. Really up to no good. See also, lions.
<3	A “heart” as in “I <3 U”; sometimes parodically extended to “<33333″ or replaced with 4 “<4″ for humorous results, (the newer model of <3 with video capability, for example). Sometimes misinterpreted as other things, such as an ice cream cone, a scrotum or a nose).
</3	A broken heart, often used alone
:9	Licking lips
[8^0)	Masked, Shocked
:]	I am kidding
:[	I am serious / And sad
:*) or -^o^-	I am blushing
d=D or q=D	Smiley with a cap/hat being either reversed or backwards. Often used as being happy for no reason at all.
----<--{@ or --{---@ or --<--<-@ or @-,-'-,--	A rose
o<:0) or *<:o)	Clown
8-B	Nerd
:K	A mammoth baring its tusks
:U	A massively multi-purpose smiley, commonly being used to express anything from shock to a silly or jovial nature. Woe and displeasure are among the only emotions excluded without modification to the smiley.
8U	IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER
:V	I am a duck. Quack quack.
:')	Often used to show sarcastic amusement, or laughing at something so hard as to cry (hence the apostrophe tear drop).
:{] , :{[ , ;{] , etc.	Moustache
\o/ or /o\	A person with raised hands, first one is representing cheer, happyness or shout; the second emoticon is covering its head, as in fear, lostness or depression
3 ~&	Poomoticon
QQ	Two eyes crying.
<[+]=^(	The Sad Pope.
\m/	The Corna, metal horns.
?-)	A pirate.
:,-( or :’-(	Crying face.
|*-*|	video cassette
{:-€ or (;,	Ctulhu from Howard Lovecraft
:Đ	The single toothed man or redneck laughing out loud
*<[]:{>	Merry Christmas (it’s Santa Claus)
( . Y . )	Breasts
D:========	Pancho, the Eel.
o_O O.o o_O; O_O;	(or many variations) kind of a “what the heck?!” look, used when one is confused or weirded out.
}((((*> fish

Complex examples

\m/[(>.<)]\m/	rocking out to headphones
..V,(^_^)	Peace!
(ô ô)	boy (sometimes also used to indicate surprise)
f(O_o)f	zombie attack!
(ó.ò)	surprised, scared
(ò.ó)	angry
(ó.ô)	quizzical or “Indeed” (designed to mimic Star Trek’s Mr. Spock)
(╥_─) -_-; -_-’ ¬_¬	annoyed, hiding frustration, dread
=^_^=	blushing, or a cat face (mischievous)
=’ т ‘=	Lion/Cat
*^_^* or ^///^	blushing
fO_o	scratching head
?_?	confused/curious/not comprehending
^n_n^	catgirl or boy
d-_-b	listening to music
~~~~>_<~~~~	weeping horribly
(9ò_ó)=@	fighting, throwing a punch
Q(^.^Q)	winner
w-(’u')-w	Kilroy was here (extensible)
b(~_^)d, d-(^_^)-b, (b^_^)b, etc.	thumbs-up
q(-_-)p	thumbs-down
\,,/(^_^)\,,/	happy rockin’
(¬_¬)/¯	“It’s good… to go!”
-0/	wearing glasses (nerd)
!_! or T_T	2 eyes crying.
(ρ_-)o	sleepy / rubbing eyes
(>._.)ø or ø(._.&lt	writing
(>”)>	dancing
><((((º>	Something fishy.
(>^_(>O_O)>	Sex
t(-_-t) or -_-*,,|,	Giving the middle finger / flipping off.
(/.\)	Shouldn’t have said that…
>KO)->	Frontways Cupid, alternately, USB dongle goblin.
\m/	Hand gesture - Rock’n'Roll (corna) or (”Hook ‘em Horns“)
8===D	Mr. Longface, more commonly a penis.
\|/	vagina
~.~	anime girl
~(O_O)~ or ~(O_o)~	Flying Spaghetti Monster.
ಠ_ಠ	Staring eyes
o==||====>	sword
L7++(+-)&(-+)++L7	Ball Joint robot with fists
¯\(°_0)/¯	Shrug

Replacing “The” with “Da”

Normally, I hate shortened words.  I don’t use “wanna” when “want to” is what I’m saying (don’t chastise me for using contractions; they’re a recognized and proper shortening of a word).  I don’t use LOL, or ROFLMAO, or LFIREKKFLDOOEIDKMDKKFI, or any abbreviations.  I’m a bit of a grammar and punctuation geek, and it comes through in my writing.  I wouldn’t be caught dead using an emoticon, or as I say it, “stupid little things used by 12 year olds who have too much time on their hands and are proof that the world is going to hell in a handbasket.”

We won’t talk about the increased text messaging charges, or the repetitive stress injuries to my thumbs from all the extra typing.

So you’d think I’d be virulently against saying “da” instead of “the.”  And normally, you’d be right.

But Lisa B. just does it so well.  Go visit Lisa B in Da City, she’s awesome.

Indexed

OK, another in a series of new blogs, and friends of VJ (and any friend of VJ’s….)

Go visit Indexed.

Jessica is funny, and mathmatical, and graphical. Which is fun. Here’s my homage to her (I tried to draw it and scan it, but the scanner at work is broken, so I created this in Powerpoint):

Breakfast with My Son

Breakfast with My Son

Originally uploaded by Hank LNU

A little slice of heaven.

But the Best Speech Is…

If you want to hear the best speech given in the modern era, go to YouTube, and search for Martin Luther King.  Then click on any video of his speech at the March on Washington (”I Have a Dream”).  Make sure the video is at least 16 minutes long; that’s how long the whole speech was.  Make sure you get the whole speech.

I’m not going to print the text.  You need to hear great oratory.  Reading it only gives you half the message.